I'm not sure how to support this, or even if I'm sure. But everything feels like it's turning into a vice that's gripping my chest and filling me with dread. Maybe it's anxiety?
Managed yesterday with the fast, drank last night where I made up 1000 calories from sugary shots (I have a weakness for Sourz), and cried a great deal.
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| Om nom nom, Blackcurrant is the best, it's like alcoholic Ribena! |
I just drifted home. I was being ignored but the guy who promised that everything would be 'normal'...normal isn't being ignored, I can promise you. It was only a fucking kiss, for goodness sake, get over yourself. Made me feel like nothing. Odd, considering I was wearing a size 10 (UK - that would be a 6 in the US) dress that couldn't seem to contain my massive, flabby body.
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| From H&M...I shouldn't buy strapless dresses; I have a very broad back and I always have to get a size up, then my boobs don't fit in and the dress is baggy on the waist. |
It's quite unnerving, that feeling of wanting to disappear, but hating how invisible you become.
Binge today, but I don't care. It seems I have a sinus infection, and all I want to do is eat bagels and sit in bed and watch Poirot. Which, is what I'm gonna do. About 2500 cals.
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| Anime Poirot??!!! >_< |
Yeah, that sounds like anxiety to me. I had that same problem when I was about fifteen.. I had an asshole boyfriend who constantly asked me what I would do if he cheated on me with my best friend... So I had these issues for a reason lol
ReplyDeleteHang in there, hun. It'll get better
xoxo