Goal 1 achieved!

Ok, so my first goal was 155lbs by today, which I have ticked off.  I'm at 151.8, which has stayed the same from yesterday.  If I am 152lb or under next Friday then I get my next reward.

I think I need a fast, which this weekend will hopefully achieve.  I am at sea, at a sailing regatta, working with the Navy.  The food is always stodgy, but no one really pays attention to what you're eating, so I a just going to drink water, tea and coffee like my life depends on it and eat as little as possible.  Fruit, veggies and protein, if I do need to eat.  I'm aiming to lose that 1.8lbs by the time I get back and if I do then I can have something higher in carbs when I return (I'm thinking veggies sausages and some baked beans or something, nothing pushing the boat out! HA! see what I did there :P Lol!)

I have been trying to keep up with my workouts, but my energy is very low because of the low calories and I'm struggling to even stay awake today.  I have a physio class this afternoon, which should burn about 400 calories (it's very intense) and a bit of brisk walking to do.  I was planning on going for a kettlebell class but I truthfully can't face the gym and I don't have the time today.  The only problem is that I won't be actually e x e r c i s i n g this weekend, but I will be working a lot.  I'm hoping I might get a run in - I'm going to suggest it and see who will come along.

Anyway, nothing much else to report, other than I'm seeing a teeny tiny bit more definition in my belly area.  (It's a belly until I am thin, only then can I upgrade to a tummy! Lol)
Good luck everyone.

My days of 800 calories or less and lots of exercise have left me very sore, but at 151.2 lbs.  I hope it keeps creeping down this fast, but I know getting to 140 and under will be stupidly hard.

I'm going to keep mixing up my exercise.  My circuit training class was great and I'm going to keep at the intervals.  I also need to work on my 2.4 km timings.  Apparently I would need to run at a constant 14.4 k/p/h to run the distance in 10 minutes.  So there's something to creep up to.  I want to aim for at least 12.5 k/p/h by 9th June.  And then I have a week to run it on flat ground, rather than treadmill and check my pacings.  Then I will have a week of adventurous training in Germany, which should be hardcore, especially if i throw in some extra exercise and play the fussy eater.  But, you know what they say, easy gained, easy lost and I'm worried about losing fitness.  I hope the different types of sports will still keep me up to scratch.

Had lower limb physio today - what a workout, I was sweating and sore by the end.  Then did a 30 minute interval swim and went to meet a flame.  I didn't push it exercise wise because I'm actually in ab-agony right now and I need to rest tomorrow to recover.  Needless to say, I'm not happy about and and plan to do lots of walking and maybe some floor work too.  The flame and I had pudding and a long chat.  It was fairly comfortable, but not much spark.  He's a sweetie and I think he would be a good boyfriend, but I dunno about chemistry.  He's a trier in bed though and pretty awesome ;)  Pudding was a slice of cheesecake with fruit compote.  It was ok, but not brilliant, although at 100g, it came to about 350 calories, which I had budgeted for during the day and it still allowed me a banana when I got home, for potassium as my salts are low and I'm getting cramps.

Anyway, some may notice a change of look.  It needs tidying up, which I will do tomorrow, but I'm going to create a thinspo tab and sort the sidebars and pictures out.

All the best, peeps.  Keep on going.  As the quote goes 'the only dream I ever have...is the surface of the sun' - which means all those dreams can be a reality.  

Rapture

Well, since waking up today, I've lost that 5.5 pounds, so at 154lbs now.  I've pretty much fasted the past two days.  Fasting again today, as I'm going out tonight.  I really want to get drunk, but I don't want to be bloated and heavy tomorrow, so we shall see how it goes tonight.  I'm about to set off to the gym.  The plan is to run for 30 minutes, swim for 30 minutes and a mixture of light and heavy calisthenics for 40 minutes.  I'm going for another walk this afternoon, for about 2 hours too.  Then dancing tonight = lots of these revolting calories burnt.

I was looking at thinspo last night.  I will get to 112lbs and be super skinny.

It's The Rapture today, apparently.  I'm agnostic, but I wouldn't mind Jesus coming and taking me to heaven...

Reward

Since, if I give myself something as a reward, to work to, I'm going to do rewards.

3.5lbs a week.  High, but doable, considering how fat I am currently.

20/05/2011- Current weight: 159lb  (11 stone, 5lbs)
27/05/2011- Goal weight: 155.5lbs  Reward: Night out
03/06/2011- Goal weight: 152lbs  Reward: Rihanna poster
10/06/2011- Goal weight: 148.5lbs  Reward: Fancie cupcake & AIB Test Book
17/06/2011- Goal weight: 145lbs (10 stone 5lbs)  Reward: Set of ladies dumbells
24/06/2011- Goal weight: 141.5lbs  Reward: MAC Concealer
01/07/2011- Goal weight: 138lbs  Reward: Manicure & Pedicure
08/07/2011- Goal weight: 134.5lbs  Reward: Highlights
15/07/2011- Goal weight: 131lbs (9 stone 5lbs)  Reward: Rihanna tickets

Terms;

Exercise - 5 days a week for 1 hour or more.
Food - Goal is under 800, no more than 1200, excess MUST be burnt off.
Diet - SGD

Then I have goals in mind to follow to get to 125lbs (9 stone) and then 112lbs (8 stone).  By September.  I will be thin for Year 2 of university.

Eurgh

So fuckin' fat.  I'm 11 stone and 5lbs (so 159lbs).  That's bleeding ridiculous - to have put on 26lbs since my lowest weight.  I feel revolting.

I'm so close to giving up.  On life, not ED.  ED is who I am, how am I supposed to know who I am without this?  I wouldn't be the same.  Things aren't going well.  I'm rejected and alone.
I need to take drastic measures.  Yesterday I did over 10km walking.  And some physio.  Today I will do more walking and a swim and some weights.  I can't run because I'm so sore (I have physio to stabilize my hips and it makes things very painful).  But I can do swimming intervals.  I had cereal and fat free yogurt and an apple for breakfast, but I'm not going to have anything else now.  Then I will continue with my combined navy training + a fat busting regime I found in a magazine.  I have 8 weeks, but I want to have lost a stone (14lbs) by the end of 4 weeks.  Then at least 11 more by the end of 8.  Then, I would be back at the beginning.  Oh God :(

I really don't care about myself anymore.  I feel numb.  I want to disappear.

Not thinking, about Trying.

I'm on Day 2 of SGD.

Yesterday was fine - my total calories was 603:
Half a pitta 72
Houmous 42
Carrot 20
Lettuce 4
2 apples 110
Small chicken breast 180
Mushrooms 20
Capers 1
Leek 54
Rocket 5
Mini creme egg 50
Olive oil 40
Garlic 5

Today I'm going 50 calories over, to make sure I get enough protein:
Bran flakes 100
Soya milk 8
Banana 98
Protein shake 117
Sweet potato 210
Baked beans 126
Tomato 22
Lettuce 8
Total = 689

I will alter day 4, to 450 to compensate.  So far it seems ok, because I'm a big veggie eater anyway.  No reason for me to divert off the plan I have for my dinner tonight.
Off to revise now - it's having to do instead of cardio, but I will try and do some crunches tonight, partly because I need to do my Pilates exercises as part of my physio, partly because I need them and partly to compensate for the 350 intake instead of 300.

Keep going everyone ^_^