Intake has been 840 calories (skipped breakfast, stir-fry with cashews for lunch and avocado and houmous, with a slice of bread and salad for dinner) and output has been 2925 calories, according to FatSecret. I friggin' love that site. I never wanna go over my daily intake limit, the guilt at seeing that percentage in orangey red rather than green is overwhelming. I guess it kinda makes you feel good to be so in control compared to some of the MASSIVE intakes that some people have. Just a wee bit superior, maybe? But isn't that what this is about? Being better than someone else...even just one? Though be the best is, well, the best!
Maybe that's why I feel blue - I'm working hard at university and I'm not getting results. I'm in the high B's, but I want A's and it's making me feel mediocre. Very mediocre. Especially if I look at some of the eejits (a northern UK word, for idiots) who surround me.
Anyway, I know that houmous and cashews and avocado is probably ringing alarm bells in my 7 followers (thank you, I really mean that...I'm struggling) as FAT FAT FAT! But I'm not eating meat, fish or dairy, so I need to eat protein in some forms, and that has to include nuts. I'm all about fitness and leanness, so I need to keep the protein high, in order to preserve my muscles.
So I have to sacrifice something, and that's keeping a very low fat diet. My saturated fat intake is relatively low, despite this, and at the minute, this is all that concerns me. I want high fibre and protein, and very low sugar. Because I'm an almost vegan, I'm allowing, but limiting carbs. In the UK, they have this great bread, called Burgen, that is high in protein and fibre and it tastes great, so having a little bit of it is keeping me sane. Though at 110 calories a pop, maybe not that sane. But I do have some WW bread in the freezer, if things get dicey.
My exercise today consisted of walking everywhere, about 2 hours, at a brisk pace; 35 minutes running on 'Variety' on the treadmill; 25 minutes weight lifting; 30 minutes of calisthenics and pilates. Plus all my 'brain exercise' from study, and some light housework. It felt good to get to the gym...well not during, but after was buzzey. Now I'm super sore and had to crack open the ibuprofen gel. I suppose that's good though.
Now for the real downer. Weighed myself on the digital scales at the gym - after drinking 500ml of water, with clothes and trainers on, but no food eaten: 146.4lbs!!!!! Fuckin' hell. Now that is revolting. I'm trying to keep my head up, but right now I just feel numb. Numb and flabby.
Gross.
No comments:
Post a Comment